From the category archives:

Red Herrings

I have spent a fruit­less few hours try­ing to find a quote by Churchill about bathing. I inter­pret his remark, “why stand when you can sit down?” as sug­gest­ing that he pre­ferred baths to show­ers, but recall that when he vis­ited Rus­sia, he said a bath there was “like lying in one’s own dirt.” Did he say that? The rea­son for my inter­est is that I want to give up baths for a month and would like to enlist the “help” of some­one like WSC. —P.P., UK

Illustrierter1941-25a

Churchill's habits were well known to the Nazis, who lam­pooned him in this June 1941 car­toon in ILLUSTRIERTER BEOBACHTER. WSC is say­ing: "Take this down: In my cur­rent sit­u­a­tion, I fear Ger­man U-boats even less than before." (From Ran­dall Bytwerk, "Churchill in Nazi Car­toon Pro­pa­ganda," FINEST HOUR 143.)

Sorry, but I can­not find any­thing like “lying in one’s own dirt” in my dig­i­tal scans of the canon. While this is not dis­pos­i­tive, I doubt he ever changed his mind about baths and would not approve of your plan. I trust you are not giv­ing up showers!

Churchill was a famous bather—twice a day when he had time—although those Russ­ian tubs were pretty filthy. He had his clothes fumi­gated after return­ing from Yalta, cer­tain that they had picked up unwanted guests….

Your ques­tion puts me in mind of two quo­ta­tions in Churchill by Him­self, nei­ther of which sup­port your pro­posal. From the chap­ter on Amer­ica, p 115:

Eng­land and Amer­ica are divided by a great ocean of salt water, but united by an eter­nal bath­tub of soap and water.

—Press Club, New York City, 8 Decem­ber 1900

Hugh Gaitskell, Min­is­ter of Fuel and Power in the post­war Labour Gov­ern­ment, was urg­ing energy con­ser­va­tion when he said: “Per­son­ally, I have never had a great many baths myself, and I can assure those who are in the habit of hav­ing a great many that it does not make a great dif­fer­ence to their health if they have less.” This was too much for Churchill, the renowned bather:

When Min­is­ters of the Crown speak like this on behalf of His Majesty’s Gov­ern­ment, the Prime Min­is­ter and his friends have no need to won­der why they are get­ting increas­ingly into bad odour. I had even asked myself, when med­i­tat­ing upon these points whether you, Mr. Speaker, would admit the word “lousy” as a Par­lia­men­tary expres­sion in refer­ring to the Admin­is­tra­tion, pro­vided, of course, it was not intended in a con­temp­tu­ous sense but purely as one of fac­tual narration.

—House of Com­mons, 28 Octo­ber 1947



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Churchill allegedly com­pared Russ­ian pol­i­tics to a “dog­fight under a car­pet.” It was men­tioned in The Econ­o­mist of 17 Novem­ber 2005: “Like watch­ing dogs fight­ing under a car­pet, was how Churchill described Russ­ian pol­i­tics. On Novem­ber 14th the car­pet stirred, when Pres­i­dent Vladimir Putin announced that Dmitry Medvedev, head of the pres­i­den­tial admin­is­tra­tion since 2003, was to become first deputy prime minister.” It seems to be fairly well known. Can you give me the exact quote and a cita­tion? —P.C.

Unfor­tu­nately, because it’s an amus­ing line that sounds a bit like him, I can­not. We searched my dig­i­tal canon: fifty mil­lion pub­lished words includ­ing Churchill’s own fif­teen mil­lion words—all his books, arti­cles, speeches and pub­lished papers. “Dog­fight” gets ten hits, all refer­ring to aer­ial war­fare. “Car­pet” has 264 hits but none close to this quo­ta­tion, and “under the car­pet” draws a blank. With­out fur­ther infor­ma­tion, we have to con­clude this is unsub­stan­ti­ated. The Econ­o­mist is unhelp­ful, pro­vid­ing no attri­bu­tion, and not even a byline by which one could query the author.

Alas these red her­rings are all over the Inter­net, with no attri­bu­tion what­so­ever. I devoted an appen­dix of Churchill by Him­self to nearly 100 of most pop­u­lar, which Churchill either never said, or denied say­ing. Unfor­tu­nately, I missed this one.

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More “Quotations” Churchill Never Said

June 19, 2009

A web­site named IL Con­ser­v­a­tive posted on June 18th eight Churchill “quo­ta­tions,” six of which he never said. These quo­ta­tions are all over the Inter­net, none of them attrib­uted, and just seem to mul­ti­ply and get passed on, like the com­mon cold. The pur­pose of the “Red Her­rings” appen­dix of some eighty incor­rect quo­ta­tions in Churchill [...]

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Obama, Churchill and Torture

April 30, 2009

In his press con­fer­ence of 29 April, in response to a ques­tion on the dis­clo­sure of top secret memos on the use of “enhanced inter­ro­ga­tion meth­ods,” Mr. Obama said: I was struck by an arti­cle that I was read­ing the other day talk­ing about the fact that the British dur­ing World War II, when Lon­don was being bombed [...]

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Definition of “Fanatic”

March 18, 2009

Can you ver­ify whether or not Churchill said: “A fanatic is some­one who won’t change his mind and won’t change the sub­ject”?  —T.M., Ontario, Canada Sorry, it’s not Churchill. From Churchill by Him­self, the “Red Her­rings” appen­dix (unat­trib­uted quotes), page 574: “Often attrib­uted to Churchill or Pres­i­dent Tru­man. Ralph Keyes, edi­tor, The Quote Ver­i­fier, writes: [...]

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