Drunk and Ugly
What is the truth or falsehood of the famous exchange between Churchill and a woman (Nancy Astor?) who accused him of being drunk? Did it really take place? —J.M.
It’s true, but the lady was Bessie Braddock MP, and Churchill’s retort was not strictly original. From my book, Churchill by Himself, page 573:
Bessie Braddock MP: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”
WSC: Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly. —1946. Ronald Golding to the Editor.
“Drunk and Sober”
Not original to Churchill, but world famous, and confirmed by Ronald Golding, a bodyguard present on the occasion, as WSC was leaving the House of Commons after a late evening’s debate. Lady Soames, who said her father was always gallant to women, doubted the story, but Golding explained that WSC was not drunk, just tired and wobbly, which caused him to fire the full arsenal.
Churchill was relying on his photographic memory for this riposte: in the 1934 movie It’s a Gift W. C. Fields’s character, when told he is drunk, responds, “Yeah, and you’re crazy. But I’ll be sober tomorrow and you’ll be crazy the rest of your life.” Verdict: Churchill editing W. C. Fields.
A Matter of Religion
Not even royalty escaped the rigors of Churchill’s routine. In February 1945, after the Yalta Conference, he paid a visit to King Ibn Saud. His daughter Sarah, making arrangements for the luncheon, was informed that neither smoking nor alcohol were allowed in the Royal presence. This matter was characteristically confronted head on:
Winston informed the interpreter that if it was the religion of His Majesty to deprive himself of smoking and alcohol he must point out that his rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite, the smoking of cigars and the drinking of alcohol before, after, and, if need be, during all meals and in the intervals between them. The King graciously accepted the position, and his own cup bearer even offered the Prime Minister a glass of water from the sacred well of Mecca—“the most delicious that I have ever tasted,” said Winston—which, for him, was going quite a long way. —From Winston Churchill, Myth and Reality (2017)
3 thoughts on “Drunk and Ugly”
There is a story that WSC, visiting Canada when prudish teetotaler John Diefenbaker was Canadian Prime Minister, brought along his own bottle of brandy to an official dinner. Is there truth to that one?
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I asked Terry Reardon, author of Winston Churchill and Mackenzie King,who replies: “Diefenbaker was P.M. from 1957 to 1963. WSC last visited Canada in June 1954, so the dates don’t work. I am the proud owner of Diefenbaker’s three volume autobiography. The only humorous anecdote re WSC is in the second volume when Diefenbaker was in London for a Prime Ministers’ Conference in 1957 and was invited to lunch with Churchill: “During the course of my conversation with Sir Winston he offered to share with me one of his dearest possessions, some Napoleon brandy. He said: ‘Will you have some?’ I replied: “I’m a teetotaller.” He couldn’t understand what that meant. He checked his ear-piece and had me repeat it. I explained that I did not drink hard liquor. He asked: ‘Are you a prohibitionist?’ I said ‘No, I have never been a prohibitionist.’ He considered this for a moment and then remarked. ‘Ah I see, you only hurt yourself.’”
Historians who have researched it generally believe the exchange was between Astor and F.E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead (click here). It should be regarded as a prominent example of “Churchillian Drift.”
Is there much truth in the story of Nancy Astor saying to Churchill, “If you were my husband I would give you poison” to which WSC is said to have retorted, “My dear, if you were my wife, I would take it.”