When he entered Parliament, Churchill held experience in war on three continents. He spoke authoritatively of the frightfulness of modern warfare. He strove, according to his lights, sometimes with questionable tactics, and unconventional proposals, to avoid it.

Churchill’s reputation as a warrior tends to obscure his efforts for peace. Of peace he sometimes despaired, especially toward the end of his life. Herewith some of Churchill’s words on war and peace from Churchill by Himself. Part 3 will consider why he regretted, in his final years, that peace still did not prevail in the world.

1900-1909

Ah, horrible war, amazing medley of the glorious and the squalid, the pitiful and the sublime, if modern men of light and leading saw your face closer, simple folk would see it hardly ever. —1900, London to Ladysmith via Pretoria

We must not regard war with a modern Power as a kind of game…. A European war cannot be anything but a cruel, heartrending struggle [ending] in the ruin of the vanquished and the scarcely less fatal commercial dislocation and exhaustion of the conquerors. —1901, 13 May, House of Commons (hereinafter “HC”)

War never pays its dividends in cash on the money it costs. —1901, 17 July, HC

Much as war attracts me & fascinates my mind with its tremendous situations—I feel more deeply every year—& can measure the feeling here in the midst of arms—what vile & wicked folly & barbarism it all is.” —1909, 15 December, to his wife, while observing German army maneuvers

[In 1913] Germany will build three capital ships, and it will be necessary for us to build five in consequence. Supposing we were both to take a holiday for that year. Supposing we both introduced a blank page in the book of misunderstanding…. As to the indirect results, even from a single year, they simply cannot be measured.” —1912, 18 March, HC (Germany rejected his proposed “Naval Holiday”)

The Great War, 1914-1918

Everything tends towards catastrophe and collapse. I am interested, geared up and happy. Is it not horrible to be built like that? The preparations have a hideous fascination for me. I pray to God to forgive me for such fearful moods of levity. Yet I would do my best for peace, and nothing would induce me wrongfully to strike the blow. —1914, 28 July, to his wife

I wondered whether those stupid Kings and Emperors could not assemble together and revivify kingship by saving the nations from hell but we all drift on in a kind of dull cataleptic trance. —Ibid. (his call for a “Kingly Conference” was also rejected)

In the wake of the First World War

[War] is too foolish, too fantastic to be thought of in the 20th century….No one would do such things. Civilisation has climbed above such perils. The interdependence of nations in trade and traffic, the sense of public law, the Hague Convention, Liberal principles, the Labour Party, high finance, Christian charity, common sense have rendered such nightmares impossible. Are you quite sure? It would be a pity to be wrong. Such a mistake could only be made once – once for all. —1923, on the 1911 Agadir incident, The World Crisis

Mankind has never been in this position before. Without having improved appreciably in virtue or enjoying wiser guidance, it has got into its hands for the first time the tools by which it can unfailingly accomplish its own extermination —1924, September, “Shall We All Commit Suicide?,” Pall Mall

“Unteachable from infancy to tomb…”

Think of all these people—decent, educated, the story of the past laid out before them—What to avoid—what to do etc.—patriotic, loyal, clean—trying their utmost—What a ghastly muddle they made of it! Unteachable from infancy to tomb—There is the first and main characteristic of mankind. Yrs ever, W. No more War. —1928, 21 May (to Lord Beaverbrook)

The story of the human race is War. Except for brief and precarious interludes there has never been peace in the world; and before history began murderous strife was universal and unending. But the modern developments surely require severe and active attention. —1929 in The Aftermath

Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on that strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. —1930, My Early Life

I have always urged fighting wars and other contentions with might and main till overwhelming victory, and then offering the hand of friendship to the vanquished. Thus, I have always been against the Pacifists during the quarrel, and against the Jingoes at its close… —Ibid.

I would rather see another ten or twenty years of one-sided armed peace than see a war between equally well-matched Powers. —1932, 23 November, HC

_______

Part 2: Nuclear Age

Part 3: Ruminations with Anthony Montague Browne

In his first letter as a war correspondent attached to the Malakand Field Force (3 September 1897) Winston Churchill wrote of Rawalpindi:  “When I recall the dusty roads, the burnt-up grass, the intense heat, and the deserted barracks, I am unable to recommend it as a resting-place for either the sybarite, the invalid or the artist.”

Three years later, his only novel, Savrola, opened with a description of the fictional Mediterranean Republic of Laurania: “It was the first rain after the summer heats, and it marked the beginning of that delightful autumn climate which has made the Lauranian capital the home of the artist, the invalid, and the sybarite.”

Do you not think that there is, in a psychological sense, something significant about this repetition? I believe “the sybarite, the invalid, and the artist” were always together in his mind. He would not recommend Rawalpindi as even “a resting-place” to any of them. Yet he ventured to establish the capital of Laurania as a home for all three! (Churchill started writing Savrola upon his return to Bangalore from the north.)

How can these three ubiquitous but unrelated figures be accounted for? Could it be that the invalid was his late father Lord Randolph (who had visited India in the mid 1880s), the sybarite his spendthrift mother (from whom he received a steady supply of expensive books); and the artist himself (then of only words, but later also of colours)? If not, then how might one explain the repetition of so singular a choice of nouns?

It is also interesting, and perhaps pertinent, that the expression in question does not, so far as I am aware, appear in the book The Story of the Malakand Field Force (1898).  —Bilal Haider Junejo, London

A: An ear for the congenial phrase

This interesting question first went to Andrew Roberts, who replied: “I think answer is more straightforward than your Freudian take. Churchill constantly self-plagiarised, especially in speeches but you have found an example in his writing too. He thought poetically, and if a phrase such as ‘the sybarite, the invalid or the artist’ seemed to work, he thought nothing of re-using it, and why not?” Dr. Roberts forwarded his reply to me, and I agreed (we almost always do!), adding some observations…

Churchill had an ear for the congenial phrase, and a photographic memory that reprised favored lines years apart. Andrew recalled how the Hillsdale Churchill Project tracked the famous phrase “Let us go forward together,” to 17 appearances between 1910 and 1959. There was also “the magic of averages,” which Churchill deployed when referring to social insurance between the 1910s and 1940s. Then there was Bourke Cockran‘s “the earth if a generous mother.” Young Winston first heard that around the turn of the last century, and was repeating it (with credit to Cockran) into the late 1950s.

If Laurania, why not Morocco?

As for the lack of a sybarite and other figures in the Malakand, that book was not a collection of war despatches, although based in part on them. The phrase was clearly lingering in his mind when he wrote Savrola.

But there are no other occurrences of “the sybarite, the invalid or the artist” (and other combinations) in Churchill’s published canon. Evidently it didn’t “stick” as well as “forward together” or “magic of averages.” If it had, he might have applied it to Morocco or the South of France–where he was all three of those things from time to time. Next to Chartwell, he loved them most. He found both to be perfect for convalescing, painting, or enjoying the luxuries of life. (Of course, he knew where to stay!)

Sybarite but not Lotus-eater

While searching for “sybarite”  I found several examples of Churchill himself being so described. Princess Bibesco wrote in Churchill: Master of Courage (1957) that he was born and remained a sybarite. Paul Alkon wrote of Savrola in Winston Churchill’s Imagination (2006):

There is a touch of sybaritic imagination at work when Churchill describes the “great reception-room” of the Presidential Palace almost as though issuing directives for an architect commissioned to design young Winston’s own ideal prime minister’s residence. (146)

But WSC cannot be judged a sybarite in isolation from his other traits. Roy Jenkins, whose Churchill (2001) approaches but doesn’t equal Andrew Roberts’ Walking with Destiny, writes:

His sybaritic tastes only attained full satisfaction when they were superimposed on a period of high and testing achievement. He had not enjoyed his convalescence [from a stroke in 1953], and commented on it in an engaging way. “I have not had much fun,” was his dismissal of July. He may have been a sybarite, but he was as far as it is possible to imagine from being a lotus-eater. He did not welcome old age, and he knew that the best way to stave off the effects was to postpone the time when power had gone for the last time. Thereafter it would be downhill all the way. (868)

I cannot disagree with that.

Q: Who said what to whom?

What is the truth or falsehood of the famous exchange between Churchill and a woman (Nancy Astor?). She accused him of being drunk. He retorted that she was ugly but he’d be sober in the morning. Did it really take place? —J.M.

A. True but not original

The encounter did happen, but the lady was Bessie Braddock MP. Churchill was not drunk as charged, and his retort was not strictly original. From my book, Churchill by Himself, page 573:

Bessie Braddock: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”

WSC: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.” —1946.

Not original to Churchill, but world famous, this was confirmed by Ronald Golding, a Scotland Yard detective present on the occasion. WSC was leaving the House of Commons after a long, late evening debate. Lady Soames, who said her father was always gallant to women, doubted the story, but Golding explained that WSC was not drunk, just tired and wobbly, which caused him to fire the full arsenal.

Churchill was, however, relying on his photographic memory for this riposte. In the 1934 movie It’s a Gift, W.C. Fields’s character, told he is drunk, responds, “Yeah, and you’re crazy. But I’ll be sober tomorrow and you’ll be crazy the rest of your life.” Verdict: Churchill editing W.C. Fields.

A Matter of Religion

Not even royalty escaped the rigors of Churchill’s routine. In February 1945, after the Yalta Conference, he paid a visit to King Ibn Saud. His daughter Sarah made arrangements for the luncheon. Alas the King forbade smoking and alcohol in his presence. Her father  characteristically confronted this problem head-on:

Winston informed the interpreter that if it was the religion of His Majesty to deprive himself of smoking and alcohol he must point out that his rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite, the smoking of cigars and the drinking of alcohol before, after, and, if need be, during all meals and in the intervals between them. The King graciously accepted the position, and his own cup bearer even offered the Prime Minister a glass of water from the sacred well of Mecca—“the most delicious that I have ever tasted,” said Winston—which, for him, was going quite a long way. —From Winston Churchill, Myth and Reality (2017)

Reader comments

Red Herrings: Quotes not by Churchill (or things he said quoting someone else), continued from Part 2.  Compiled for the next expanded edition of Churchill by Himself.

A reader suggests that the list of “Red Herring” fake Churchill quotes be subdivided. We should separate quotes he actually said, but borrowed from someone else, from quotes simply invented out of whole cloth. Not sure we have much to learn from that. First, while I try to name the originator of a quotation not by Sir Winston, I don’t always succeed. Second, my brief extends only to disproving that the words originated with Churchill. If you have reliable attribution identifying the true author of any quotes here, please let me know.

In 1686 the Oxford English Dictionary described “red herring” as a metaphor to draw pursuers off a track, as “the trailing or dragging of a dead Cat or Fox (and in case of necessity a Red-Herring) three or four miles…and then laying the Dogs on the scent…to attempt to divert attention from the real question.” That is what these misquotes all have in common: they distract or divert us from what Churchill really did originate. Chapter references are to Churchill by Himself, with over 4000 genuine, attributed quotations in thirty-four chapters or categories. The next edition will contain over 5000. Anyway, that’s my pitch and I’m sticking with it.

Lies – Looking Ahead

Lies: There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

• Churchill used these words on 22 February 1906, but quickly explained that they were the remark of a “witty Irishman.”

A lie will gallop halfway round the world before the truth has time to pull its breeches on.

• Among quotes commonly ascribed to Churchill (who would have said “trousers,” not “breeches”), this was actually written by Franklin Roosevelt’s Secretary of State, Cordell Hull (Memoirs I, 220).

Living and Life: You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give.

• Sometimes expressed using “we” instead of “you.” Often heard in tv ads. An old saying, origin unknown. One of thosse quotes put in Churchill’s mouth to make it more interesting.

Living Dog, Dead Lion: A living dog is better than a dead lion.

• Originally Ecclesiastes 9:4: “But for him who is joined to all the living there is hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion.” In HESP II, 95, WSC quotes it from John Dudley, First Duke of Northumberland, before being executed by Mary Tudor in 1553.

Looking Ahead: It is always wise to look ahead—but difficult to look further than you can see. • No attribution.

Looking Backward – MacDonald

Looking Backward: The further backward you look, the further forward you can see. [Or: The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see.]

• Circa 1944, commonly ascribed to WSC, even by HM The Queen (Christmas Message, 1999). What Churchill actually said was “The longer you can look back, the farther you can look forward.” See Chapter 2, Maxims.

MacDonald, Ramsay: After the usual compliments, the Prime Minister [MacDonald] said [to Lloyd George]: “We have never been colleagues, we have never been friends—at least, not what you would call holiday friends—but we have both been Prime Minister, and dog doesn’t eat dog. Just look at this monstrous Bill the trade unions and our wild fellows have foisted on me. Do me a service, and I will never forget it. Take it upstairs and cut its dirty throat.”

• 28 January 1931 in Halle, Irrepressible Churchill, 114. According to Kay Halle, this was “an imaginary conversation dreamed by WSC between Ramsay MacDonald and David Lloyd George, directed at MacDonald because of the debate on the Trades Disputes Act.” Halle’s version begins with “We have never been colleagues” and substitutes “the monstrous Bill” for “this monstrous Bill.” No other attribution.

Martinis – Metaphors

Martinis: I like to observe the vermouth from across the room whilst I drink my Martini.

• No attribution. Pure invention, since WSC did not like cocktails. He particularly eschewed Martinis with liberal infusions of vermouth, mixed by President Roosevelt. He was once observed dumping one in a nearby flowerpot.

Marx Brothers: You are my sixth favourite actor. The first five are the Marx Brothers.

• Reported in at least one Churchill quotes book, but no sign of this comment appears in the literature. WSC enjoyed the Marx Brothers; for what he did say about them, see Chapter 32, Tastes and Favourites, Marx Brothers.

Metaphors: How infinite is the debt owed to metaphors by politicians who want to speak strongly but are not sure what they are going to say.

• Stated by the Sunday Times, 22 October 2022. No attribution.

“Mettle” – Mussolini

“Mettle”: [A junior MP: “What is the greatest quality in a leader?”] WSC: “Mettle.”

• Supposedly a one-word response to a perennial question. Although “mettle” was a favorite word, this is unsubstantiated. It was credited without attribution to Nigel Nicolson, editor of Harold Nicolson’s diaries, but it does not appear in those volumes.

 Achievement is not last, disappointment is not deadly: It is the mettle to proceed with that matters.

• Posted as a Churchill quotation by Quotefancy.com. As close as we come to the “mettle” response above, but no attribution can be found, either for the full phrase or any components of it.

Montgomery, Field Marshal Bernard: In defeat, indomitable; in victory, insufferable. [Or: Indomitable in retreat, invincible in advance, insufferable in victory.]

• Widely bruited about, but not in Churchill’s canon. Likely conjured up lately from “Indomitable in victory, insufferable in defeat,” by American football coach Woody Hayes. For a number of genuine remarks see Chapter 20, People, Montgomery.

The Field Marshal lived up to the finest tradition of Englishmen. He sold his life dearly.

• WSC allegedly said this in 1958 when advised that Monty’s memoirs were earning more than his History of the English Speaking Peoples. It seems unlike Churchill. “Sold his life dearly” comes up only once in the canon, when Alanbrooke opined that Churchill would have done so if ever backed up against a wall by invading Germans.

Muslims: When Muslims are in the minority they are very concerned with minority rights. When they are in the majority there are no minority rights. No attribution.

Mussolini’s Consolation: [Son-in-law Duncan Sandys: “Hitler and Mussolini have an even greater burden to bear, because everything is going wrong for them.”] Ah! But Mussolini has this consolation, that he could shoot his son-in-law!

• Refers to the execution by firing squad of Count Galeazzo Ciano (1903-1944). This non-quote originated in newspaper proprietor Cecil King’s war memoir,With Malice Toward None (1970). But King said it was “obviously concocted by some wag.” Another version involves WSC’s son-in-law Vic Oliver, whom he disliked, asking which war leader Churchill most admired.

Naval Tradition – Nuisenza

Naval tradition: Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, buggery [sometimes “sodomy”] and the lash.

• In 1955 WSC denied this, but Harold Nicolson quotes him on 17 August 1950: “Naval tradition? Monstrous. Nothing but rum, sodomy, prayers and the lash.” However, the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations lists “Rum, bum, and bacca” and “Ashore it’s wine women and song, aboard it’s rum, bum and concertina” as 19th century naval catchphrases. Verdict: not original to Churchill.

Never Give In [Three-word speech. Also sometimes: “Never give up.”]

• Harrow School, 29 October 1941. Often represented as a three-word speech which Churchill allegedly made, and then sat down. This is incorrect. The complete quotation is in Chapter 2, Maxims, Perseverance.

Never quit: Never, never, never quit! [Also sometimes quoted as “Never, never, never give up!”

• Misquotations of “Never give in – never, never, never, never, except to convictions of honour and good sense.”

Nuisenza: It is a nuisenza to have the fluenza.

• Dated 25 October 1943 in WW2 V, 279. Represented in places as a Churchillism, this was actually Roosevelt writing to Churchill.

Oats and Sage – Organ grinder

Oats and Sage: The young sow wild oats, the old grow sage.

• Constantly ascribed to Churchill, it is not among his published words. Henry James Byron (1835–84) in “An Adage” wrote: “The gardener’s rule applies to youth and age; When young ‘sow wild oats,” but when old, grow sage.”

Opportunity: To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour.

• Commonly attributed, but neither the quotation nor parts of it can be found. That it is manufactured is suggested by its use of “finest hour” from WSC’s famous speech of 18 June 1940, which he would have been unlikely to repeat in so offhand a context. Verdict: apocryphal Churchill.

Organ grinder and monkey: Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

• Badly garbled from what Churchill said about Hitler and Mussolini: “The organ grinder still has hold of the monkey’s collar.” See Chapter 20, People, Mussolini.

Palestinians – People

Palestinians: It is crazy to help the [Palestinian] Arabs, because they are a backward people who ate nothing but camel dung.

• Reported only by Michael Makovsky, in Churchill’s Promised Land, pp. 168-69 as a remark to Malcolm MacDonald in re the 1939 Palestine White Paper. Makovsky added, “these might not have been Churchill’s exact words.” Verdict: insufficiently established. (Churchill’s one verified reference to “camel dung” is an amusing story. See Part 2 Comments.)

Past, forgetting the: A nation that forgets the past has no future. • No attribution.

Past, remembering the: Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

• Famous among quotes by George Santayana (1863-1952) in The Age of Reason (1905). Churchill shared the sentiments, but never repeated the exact words.

People Will Put You Out: [Lord Shawcross: “We are the masters at the moment, and not only at the moment, but for a very long time to come.”] Oh no you’re not. The people put you there and the people will put you out again.

• Supposedly 1946 with the Labour Party newly in power. Shawcross is often misquoted as saying, “We are the masters now.” He maintained that he spoke as above, but Churchill’s retort is not established and likely apocryphal.

Perfection – Pessimist

Perfection is the enemy of progress.  • No attribution.

Persistence: Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential.

• No attribution. Reported August 2008 in Investor’s Business Daily.

Pessimist and Optimist: A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

• No attribution. For what he did say about them, see Chapter 5, Anecdotes and Stories…Optimists and Pessimists.

Planning – Poison

Planning: Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential. • No attribution.

Plan to fail: People who fail to plan, plan to fail.

• No attribution. For what he did say, see “Planning” in Chapter 21, Political Theory and Practice and Chapter 22, Politics: The Home Front.

Poison in Your Coffee: [Nancy Astor: “If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.”] If I were married to you, I’d drink it.

• Blenheim Palace, circa 1912, Balsan, 162; Sykes, 127. Martin Gilbert (In Search of Churchill, 232) concluded that the author was F.E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead, “a much heavier drinker than Churchill, and a notorious acerbic wit”. But Fred Shapiro (Yale Book of Quotations) says the riposte dates back even farther, to a joke line in the Chicago Tribune of 3 January 1900: “‘If I had a husband like you,’ she said with concentrated scorn, ‘I’d give him poison!’ ‘Mad’m,’ he rejoined, looking her over with a feeble sort of smile, ‘If I had a wife like you I’d take it.’” Verdict: F. E. Smith, giving new life to an old wisecrack.

Politics – Prepositions

Politics: Politics is the art of inclusion, not exclusion.

           •  No attribution. He did say, “Politics is the art of looking forward…” See Chapter 2, Maxims…Politics.

Positive Thinker: The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible. • No attribution.

Power: Power is a drug. Who tried it at least once is poisoned forever. • Reported by tribuneindia.com, 2020. No attribution.

Prepositions, Ending Sentences in: This is the kind of pedantic nonsense up with which I will not put. [Sometimes rendered as “tedious nonsense” or “offensive impertinence.”]

• Per Benjamin Zimmer, originally attributed to WSC by The New York Times and Chicago Tribune, 28 February 1944. Fred Shapiro (Yale Book of Quotations) writes: “The Times…made one change that seems to undercut Churchill’s humor completely: they ‘fixed’ the quote so that there are no fronted prepositions. The Wall Street Journal, 30 September 1942, quotes an undated article in Strand Magazine: When a memorandum passed round a certain Government department, one young pedant scribbled a postscript drawing attention to the fact that the sentence ended with a preposition, which caused the original writer to reply that the anonymous postscript was ‘offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put.’”

Principle – Public Schools

Principle: Never stand so high upon a principle that you cannot lower it to suit the circumstances. • An all-purpose bon mot put in WSC’s mouth to make it more interesting; no attribution.

Prisoner of War: A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him. • No attribution.

Profits and Losses: Socialists think profits are a vice. I consider losses the real vice. • No attribution.

Public [Private] Schools: A public school education equips a boy for life and damns him for eternity.

• No attribution. (In Britain, a public school is a private prep school.)

Rich and Poor – Sex

Reputation: The most important man in the world, when he dies, leaves as lasting an impression as a fist withdrawn from a bucket of water. • No attribution.

Rich and Poor: You don’t make the poor richer by making the rich poorer. • No attribution.

Risk, Care and Dream: Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.

• No attribution. Quoteworld.org credits Claude Thomas Bissell (1916–2000), Canadian author and educator.

Rough men stand ready: See “Defenders of the peace,” Part 2.

Saving: Saving is a very good thing, especially if your parents have done it for you. • No attribution.

Saying and Doing: I no longer listen to what people say, I just watch what they do. Behaviour never lies. • No attribution.

Schooldays: At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands. • No attribution.

Sex: It gives me great pleasure.

• At The Other Club, a member drawn at random would chalk a word on a blackboard. A second member, chosen by lot, had to make an impromptu speech about it. This is supposedly Churchill’s speech on the word “sex.” No attribution is found.

Concluded in Part 4…

Churchillian Drift is just the ticket. I have been looking for a term to describe the numerous potted, inaccurate Churchill quotes. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth puts its trousers on.” That is big right now on Twitter. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Everybody uses that one repeatedly.

“If you’e going through hell, keep going.” No one knows who said that, but it wasn’t Churchill. Then there is: “If I were your husband, I’d drink it.” That is Churchill’s alleged retort to Lady Astor’s threat to poison his coffee. Most likely it was uttered by his friend F.E. Smith, Lord Birkenhead.

In August 2018, Texas Governor Greg Abbott credited Churchill in a Tweet: “The fascists of the future will call themselves anti-fascists.” Kudos to the Guv’nor for deleting that one.

“Gnomology”

Professor Manfred Weidhorn puts us onto Churchillian Drift. This is explained by James Geary, a “gnomologist” (quote mavens get to wear this impressive title) who shares Dr. Weidhorn’s vice of collecting aphorisms:

Churchillian Drift was devised by British gnomologist Nigel Rees: “I coined the term to describe the process whereby the originator of a quotation is elbowed to one side and replaced by someone more famous. So to Churchill or Napoleon would be ascribed what, actually, a lesser-known political figure said. The process occurs in all fields.

Churchillian Drift bobs up among some of the biggest names in the aphorism business. Not just Churchill and Napoleon. Albert Einstein is popular.  (Not everything that counts can be counted.) So is Mahatma Gandhi (Be the change you wish to see in the world.) And of course Honest Abe gets his share. (“A house divided against itself cannot stand” was quoted by Lincoln from the Bible.)

But remember this, Dr. Weidhorn continues.  “You do not find yourself the target of Churchillian Drift unless, like Churchill, you are already a fine aphorist. Part of the reason it’s so easy to misattribute brilliant sayings to great aphorists is that they have already coined so many brilliant sayings themselves.

“Which is also why they might feel occasionally justified in purloining an orphan phrase to make it their own. After all, Franklin may or may not have originated the aphorism, ‘Neither a borrower nor a lender be.’ But he never said anything against being a plagiarist….”

Yogi Berra Drift

Professor Weidhorn adds:

Churchill himself used some of his best-known sayings early in his career but no one noticed, so my addendum to this theory is that not just the stature of the person matters but the occasion—1940-42, Churchill’s finest hour, being high drama on the world stage.

There’s really nothing Churchillian about it. You could just as well call it the Yogi Berra drift. “I never said many of the things I said,” Yogi said—ALLEGEDLY.

It’s closely related to the phenomenon of a charismatic figure—Alexander the Great, King Arthur, Jesus—becoming like a black hole that draws in miscellaneous stories that were just lying around and then are connected to the famous figure.

Further reading

If  you suffer from an irresistible urge to subject yourself to masses of fake Churchill quotes, I’ve listed every one I’ve researched on this website. The list is so long, it requires four posts. Click here for Part 1.

The Dubious Achievement Award for the largest collection of fake Churchillisms goes to A-Z Quotes, which lists so many I couldn’t get through them all.

The purpose of my “Red Herrings” appendix of eighty incorrect quotations in Churchill by Himself is to counteract the raft of misinformation conveyed, largely through the web, but it’s like the Dutch boy sticking his finger in the dyke. Since publication of the book some years ago I’ve found at least another eighty, none of which I can find any record of in Churchill’s 15 million published words.

Non-Quotes

Anyway, and for the record, all of these are NOT CHURCHILL (and I will not dignify them with quotemarks):

1. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

2. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

3. However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

4. If you’re going through hell, keep going.

5. Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

6. A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him. (This one is close, but no cigar. What Churchill did say—House of Commons, 1 July 1952—was:  “What is a prisoner of war? He is a man who has tried to kill you and, having failed to kill you, asks you not to kill him.”)