It was supposedly Blaise Pascal (not Winston Churchill) who said he was going to give a long speech because he hadn’t the time to prepare a short one. I have an idea for a short speech that will take no time at all: The Whole Welsh Works of Winston.

I was actually going to use this as an intro to a longer talk at Hillsdale College later this month. We decided it was too obscure to matter to most listeners. It might even bore them, except for any Welsh in the audience. (Who would certainly deplore my pronunciation.)

For the record though, I offer herewith the complete Welsh Works of Sir Winston Churchill—at least those known to me.

Chapter 1

Trechu’r Goresgynnydd is the Welsh version of Beating the Invader, Cohen B76. Bibliographer Ronald Cohen advises that it is Churchill’s only Welsh printed work. The Ministry of Information published it in May 1941. Mr. Cohen knows of only a single copy. The press run, however, was 160,400. This version is not in the Cohen Collection at Hillsdale College.

Chapter 2

Churchill had a prominent Welsh challenger, the socialist MP Emrys Hughes, who wrote a spurious biography of him. In it Hughes took the liberty of badly misquoting him to suggest he hated Germans. Nevertheless, Churchill and Hughes nursed a secret mutual affection, which they tried to keep well hidden as they sparred in Parliament.

In November 1951, just re-elected Prime Minister, Churchill appointed the Welshman David Llewellyn as Undersecretary for Welsh Affairs in the Home Office. “His name,” Churchill told the House of Commons, “is quite well known throughout the principality.”

Emrys Hughes leaped from his seat to demand: “Pronounce it.”

“I will,” said Churchill—“Llewellyn.” Then he stunned the House of Commons by adding “Môr o gân yw Cymru i gyd.” [All Wales is a sea of song.] It was a phrase Churchill learned while attending an Eisteddfod, a Welsh festival, thirty years before with his friend, David Lloyd George. (His photographic memory never slipped.)

Chapter 3

A few days later, Churchill spoke on the forthcoming budget proposed by the new Government.

Mr. Hughes rose. “Owing to the popularity the Government has gained by the reduction of their salaries, is not the Prime Minister prepared to apply the principle to the big item of more than £500,000 spent on the Civil List?” (The Civil List is an itemization of funds paid to individuals by the government.)

Churchill did not hesitate. “Dim o gwbl,” he replied. It means “At any time.” Which was a nice Welsh way of saying “I’m really not going to tell you anything.”

Thus endeth Sir Winston Churchill’s complete works in Welsh. Any additional discoveries are most welcome. Which is to say: Mae croeso mawr i unrhyw ddarganfyddiadau ychwanegol.

Q. “Rab” Butler, Churchill’s Minister of Education (1941-45) and Chancellor of the Exchequer (1951-55), recalled that Churchill once told him he was doing less for the war effort than Churchill’s grey cat Nelson, who saved fuel and power by acting as a Prime Ministerial hot-water bottle. True?

A. Yes. Butler said this in a speech to the Rt. Hon. Sir Winston Spencer Churchill Society of Edmonton, Alberta. (This was the original Churchill Society, the only one sanctioned by Churchill personally). Butler spoke at their annual dinner on 6 May 1968. His speech is reprinted in The Heroic Memory, vol. 1, speeches from 1965 to 1989. Butler recalled that had drafted a paper for Churchill to sign, which the PM found unsatisfactory:

I saw him at an early hour of the morning having had very little sleep, but he dismissed my efforts immediately, saying that his cat could do more for the war effort than your humble servant. I asked him why, and he said, “At any rate, my cat is at least a hot water bottle to me, and you do damn little for the war effort.” But in the end, when he drafted the paragraphs they were far superior to mine.

Not an idea but a coincidence

WSC: “Sawyers, where is my hot-water bottle?”

Sawyers: “You are sitting on it, sir. Not a very good idea.”

WSC: “It’s not an idea, it’s a coincidence.”

We arrived well up to schedule by 10 a.m. There we were met by General de Lattre, the Préfet, the Mayor and a mass of other officials. Outside the station a band, a guard of honour and a large crowd. We solemnly stood in the snow whilst most of “God Save the King,” the “Stars and Stripes” and “La Marseillaise” were played through.

Winston at lunch. He arrived completely frozen and almost rolled up on himself like a hedgehog. He was placed in a chair with a hot-water-bottle at his feet and one in the back of his chair; at the same time good brandy was poured down his throat to warm him internally. The results were wonderful, he thawed out rapidly and when the time came produced one of those indescribably funny French speeches which brought the house down.